I know that I may be the type to seclude myself from the rest of the world, I just shut my mouth and keep quiet and hopefully things will smooth out for itself. But sometimes, I just can't take it.

It's hard dealing with stress at home. I feel like I'm trapped in my own house and I certainly don't think I am out of control. My parents just need to learn how to let go and let me figure things out for myself. It starts to get frustrating when every time I tell them I'm going out, they give me shit for it. They make me feel bad that I didn't eat dinner with them or that I have an attitude problem. I need to take more responsibility they say. I know they want the best for me but they are literally tearing me apart by trying to keep me confined.

But that's the least of my problems. I don't know if it's me but I know I'm not close to the people I used to be. Honestly, it sucks. I never really know what's going on anymore. No matter how much I try, things are just not what they used to be. Maybe I am not putting in as much effort as I should be, maybe it's me shutting my mouth again and hoping that things will just pass. Or maybe we all just need our space. But, I am a true believer of things happening for a reason. It'll be a slow process but I'm sure everything will take it's place sooner or later.

On the bright side. I am liking my internship so far. I finally feel like I'm moving forward with my career. I'm learning so much everyday and meeting so many people. I love it! This is a start of a new beginning... Yesah!

First Day of School

One word: SUCKS!

All my classes seem super hard! No more being the shy one in the back. I'm not the type to express my feelings to a room full of strangers and I don't plan on starting, eh I guess I have to. I hate hearing the sound of my own voice! Anyway, I really hope this semester goes by fast because once I'm done--then on to my minor! which is totally EASY.

Working at Chili's, school, and the internship, I don't know where I'll find my free time! BUT! PB Bar and Grill tomorrow night, I'll be there for an event from 9-11pm so I hope to see some of you there! Anyway, just wanted to say a few words on here since I haven't the past couple of weeks. Good luck to everyone on a new semester! Take care :)

Len

2008

My first entry for the new year!

What a year. There were definatley some ups and downs, but that's what makes us who we are today isn't it? There were fun drunken nights, sea world, parties, birthdays, laughs, and tears, but I wouldn't change a thing. I've learned this past year is that no matter what happens, family and friends will always be there for you. Even when the world turns its back on you, I know that I am not alone.

I am excited for this year. A year to start over and learn from my mistakes of the past. My New Year's Resolution is to learn how to prioritize, eat healthier, and be more outspoken. I hope that by years end, I'll quit Chili's and find a real job. Maybe even move out? I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

Too many words...

Stress mixed with excitement mixed with worriedness (is that even a word?) mixed with anxiousness. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep with Toby all day.

I watched Enchanted and thought it was the cutest movie ever! Thanks Jrew for the complimentary kids combo and viewing of this awesome movie. After we got out of the movie we went to Wal-Mart to buy the soundtrack! Haha, I know corny huh...what made it even weirder was that it was the ONLY thing we bought! There was this one incident that made the night even weirder. Right when we walked inside, I noticed this lady crying to an employee about her "stolen purse." She began to walk around--sobbing and pushing cart full of weird things. Who goes shopping for cookies at 2am? Anyway, I was tempted to buy what she had in her cart since it didn't look like much. But she kept on walking. We attempted to search for her bag until the intercom announced that they found it! She must have misplaced it somewhere or it was scam to make people feel sorry for her and buy her things!

Beer Pong Tournament at Kevin's house. I didn't think we'd make it all the way to the Finals! It was an intense game but my partner and I were victorious. Thanks to the infamous body roll and karate kid ritual. 10 cups filled with 5 beers?! I've never played that way before, so I was proud of our team...I'm up for another challenge. Cant wait for the "game of the century," according to Kevin. I smell a rematch coming soon...

It's hard to type at night because its so cold that my hands start freezing and it literally hurts to go on the computer. When will it stop being COLD!

YESSS!!

Got 'em!

After months of searching and sending in resumes off monster and Craig's list, I finally got one! I learned that determination is key. Don't let hearing from nobody getting in the way and keep moving forward. I was real nervous when I was asked for an interview. An interview? I haven't been to one in almost 5 years! What do i say??? What do I bring??? What do I wear??? Good thing Neil was there to practice with me and taking me to my interview and waiting in the car while I was being interrogated by two individuals in a room full of chairs. After a bunch of questions were asked and continuous nodding on my part, all I could think about were my gross hands sweating like crazy. Make it stop!! Should I shake their hand? Of course you shake their hand you dummy!

Finally, it was over. Phew! I made it! What a rush! A sense of relief came over me. The next day I found out I got it. The same day I got my stupid presentation out of the way. Now, finals. Once finals is over. I am celebrating.

Care to join?

Oh yeah, you might be wondering what internship I ended up getting...

well, you'll have to find out and ask me :)

2 More Weeks!

Once my teacher said "Alright, here comes the two week stretch," it really hit me. Two more weeks are you kidding me!? My head is spinning just thinking about it. Presentations, papers, tests, oh my!

Makes me regret all those semesters where I got lazy and only took 2-3 classes or failed one and had to take it again. If only I knew that it would kick me in the ass later then I wouldn't have been so stupid and lazy. I hate myself for that, but I must think positively. Everything happens for a reason, I always say. And I am a firm believer that this theory is true. If I graduated earlier then I wouldn't be mentally ready to be on my own. It takes a while for my brain to get into gear and focus on school so then I must stay in school for an extra year longer.

Or maybe I'm just saying that to make an excuse for myself for not wanting to leave home. I'll have to admit, I'll miss this place when I leave. I'll miss not having to do my laundry or fix my bed or have to pay for anything besides clothes. We all have to move out someday. Sometimes I'd wish my parents would just kick me out just like how birds teach their offsprings to fly by pushing them off the nest. I need that push! Otherwise, I bet I'd end up here forever. Eh, oh well...as long as I have Toby. I'll be fine.

I am thankful for...

My family, I couldn't ask for a fun loving, soldier drinking, group of people! It's always fun when we get together. I love you guys! Tetris anyone?

**some not pictured, but you know who you are ;)

My friends, Even though we don't meet everyday I still cherish all the memories we've had together, and I know that when we do see eachother it's like we never left. I can always can't on you guys to be there for me, for whatever reason, and I thank you for that. I'll always be there for you! <3>

My boyfriend, You're the best. Thank you for taking care of me when I'm sick and for just being you. You annoy me sometimes but you never fail to put a smile on my face :) . Love. love. love.