Moving on

My dear friends,

I doubt anyone even reads this anyway, but I have moved blogs. I've decided to become a tumblr member. You can find me at

lenlenbobenben.tumblr.com

I will miss you blogger but I will never forget you!

All my love to you dear puppet, Bye Bye.

-Mrs. Doubtfire

Break Your Routine

Who knew that something I was told at work (Chili's) would make such a profound effect when applied to real life.

Break Your Routine!

Make life exciting, make it interesting and be spontaneous! Like that cliche saying goes: "You only live once" There's a whole world to discover with so little time. Expand your horizons and enjoy everything and everyone around you. Be Happy :)

Neil and I are proud owners of a Disneyland Annual Pass and rode a horse.

What's next?!?!

Live

Experts say that laughter is the best medicine. After all, it increases your immune system response, lowers blood sugar levels in diabetics, increases oxygen flow throughout your entire body and helps induce a state of relaxation promoting better sleep. The positive health effects are no laughing matter: according to the University of Maryland Medical Center, average blood flow typically increases 22 percent during and after bursts of laughter compared to a decrease in blood flow by 35 percent during mental stress.

Used

Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die;
I'm not afraid to bleed and fuck and fight,
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pygmy sized cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill and spill over and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black, broken heart.
Love is not like anything,
Especially a fucking knife!

What goes up...

...Must come down

I need this!

Hi all just an update on Toby. The surgery was a success but the recovery part is also even scarier. He still cant move his back legs but the doctor said that it will take a while for him until he starts walking again. With the amount of money that is accumulating over time regarding Toby's operation it's begining to be almost too much for my family to handle alone. I've been posting these flyers all over the Internet--different dachshund message boards, CraigsList, Meetup.com, MySpace, My-Donation.com, everywhere! I also recylce cans in order to raise a little extra cash. Every penny counts! I'm even going to work full-time at Chili's just to help pay it off! I'm even contemplating on giving up my internship over the summer so I can dedicate my time towards making enough money for the Tobster.

Toby has brought so much happiness to my friends, family, and especially me. I feel like it's my duty to take care of him and give him another chance to live. I'm not giving up on him!

So I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for the support, it really means a lot to me.


Toby needs your help!






My dachshund Toby was recently diagnosed with intervertebral disk disease (IVDD). He ruptured one of his disks and had to undergo extensive surgery to help him gain mobility again.


Approximately one in four Dachshunds will experience a disk problem during their lives. Because the Dachshund's back is extra long, the spine is vulnerable to injury. When a dog jumps from a high place, landing first on its two short front legs, the force is transferred down the spinal column from the top, compressing the vertebrae and disks, greatly increasing the chances a disk will herniate, or squeeze out from between the protective vertebrae, compression and possibly injuring the spinal chord.


The price of Toby's operation is gradually going higher everyday he is at the hospital and we need your help! Any donation would be greatly appreciated. For those of you who have pets or have lost one should know how much they are a part of your family and Toby is a big part of ours. We greatly appreciate your generosity and prayers in hopes that Toby will have a successful recovery. THANK YOU!!! in advanced.



All you have to do is click on the "DONATE" button below and it will take you directly to PayPal. Just fill in the amount you would like to donate. Don't have a PayPal account? It's okay we accept all major credit cards. You will receive an e-mail notice that your donation has been completed.

Can't wait 'til Toby comes home!!

Today was one of the scariest days of my life! Even though I saw signs of Toby acting not like his usual self, I still did not react to it. I forget that dogs can't tell you how much pain they are in until they cannot stand it any longer. That's why I was surprised to see him lying helplessly in bed and not being able to walk. His heavy panting and rigamortis look made me want to bring him to the emergency room right away. Especially after looking up stuff on the Internet and speaking with an on-call doctor, I knew that it was serious. My parents wanted to wait til morning but Toby's condition looked like he was not going to last all night. I told them to look at him and tell me that you want him to suffer like that and once my Dad took a look at him he automatically agreed with the late-night visit to the ER.

Neil and I rushed Toby to the Sorrento Valley Emergency Vet Care and waited impatiently in the waiting room. It seemed like forever but all I could think about was if Toby was o.k. Coffee couldn't even calm me down. I couldn't even hold the cup from shaking too much!

It so happens that Toby had messed up his spinal cord and required immediate surgery. As the doctor explained to me what happened I couldn't believe it. Toby must be going through so much pain right now. I knew from the second I stepped into the ER that this is not going to be cheap. But I will do anything for that dog...ANYTHING! Money can be replaced but not Toby.

As I saw him for the last time before we went into surgery I had to be brave for him and fight my tears. He'll be fine and I will see him in no time. Until then, please pray for him.

We love you TOBY!

Rock Show

The Used was the perfect antedote for a stressful week--Cramming for tests, sending out graduation invitations, getting my hours done for my internship, work, and planning our grad party...It was a bit overwhelming.

First thing on the agenda, FOOD! We originally wanted to go to IN-N-OUT but the line was really long. So instead we went to Del Taco (The same Del Taco where we saw Quinn from The Used), a number 9 and a steak taco please! Where else can you get a burger and mexican food at the same place? Mmmmmmm

Next on the agenda, ALCOHOL. Thank you Black Angus and their Happy Hour(s) for providing us with the liquor and beer. Surprisingly, it was pretty empty, just a few people trickling in before the show started. There was this one guy in particular that stood out when he said "Three shots of Jager and keep it commin'" Wow, while Neil and I sipped on our cocktails filled with marachino cherries we felt like pussies compared to him. So, what do we do? Order a shot of tequila! haha (I didn't finish mine but Neil "put it away" for me). I knew Neil was officially drunk when he HIGH FIVED a pregnant lady with a shirt saying "Bert this is your baby!"

We were feeling pretty good and hyped up for the show. Straylight Run played and I only really wanted to hear one song and they played it! Then we left and found ourselves at the smoking area. What were we doing here?! We don't smoke! Apparently, last night we did hah.

Now back inside for The Used. Man I love these guys. They never fail to amaze me. But their set seemed pretty short to me. I guess keep it short and sweet, I'll see them again for sure in the future. What a night.

Ok

I'm over being emo now :)

Thought of the day: I should really start expanding my vocabulary. I tend to use the same words all the time. I sound like a broken record.

As for the drug bust at San Diego State. Thanks guys for ruining our school's reputation, unless it was already ruined. You decide.

Can't wait to watch THE USED tomorrow!!!

Do you?

Do you ever have one of those days where you're just depressed? Like things just aren't going your way or you feel like you can't do anything about it and all you have to do is just be depressed? No matter what, you try to do something to distract yourself but nothing seems to work. Just nothing appeals to you, like trying to eat with a stuffy nose, you need your sense of smell to fully enjoy your food. All you feel like doing is NOTHING while the world around you is in complete chaos.

I'm not really sure what is really bothering me. I guess it's just a bunch of different things jumbled up in my head that I can't seem to put my finger on just one thing.

I don't know what to do.

Spring Break

Spring Break is quickly coming to an end and now I have to get back into the groove of school and work again. It was fun while it lasted! I didn't go anywhere special, but I did get to relax and drink drink drink :)

I just started my internship class this past week and I didn't realize how much work I have to put into it. Meetings with my instructor and mentor, papers, assignments...aaah, when will this end?! The 8-week session does not help either with all the deadlines every week. On top of the load I have the this next month--school, work, and graduation... Time management is what I need to start working on. I am easily distracted so we'll see how this goes :/

I just have to take each step one at a time and eventually the semester will be over and then SUMMER!! Can you believe that the spring semester is almost over?! The last day before SDSU's finals is May 9th! That is quickly approaching!

Must stop typing....

...

.

101

You never know how much fun our parents could be until you get drunk with them. I have had the experience to hang out with a select few, including Tic Tac's parents. Their hospitality goes beyond food but endless alcohol as well. I was surprised how many bottles we killed that night. But the worste one of all was that freakin WILD TURKEY! That turkey is not my friend! Not to mention, it was 101 proof. Geez, what were we thinking?! Auntie's outlook on life is, "you're only as old as you feel." And I bet she felt like she was 21 again! That was very inspiring, I will never get old. Life is short. Enjoy it while you can. Let's just say we totally lived it up that night and most of it is on the lawn.

Ugh

Right when you think everything is going well...

Its All About Customer Service

My family and I ate at Happy Sushi for dinner and it was the worste dining experience EVER! First of all, the restaurant was busy and it took us forever to get a table. There was one dirty table available, but it took the servers FOREVER to clear it and seat us. No greet, no "I'll be right with you" no acknowledgement what so ever. So the server asks us how many was in our party and we said 5. She sighed and was like "oookay."

From this point, we should have left because the rest of the service was just as bad. It took them forever to come to our table and give us our drinks. All we had was water and hot tea. I noticed that their way of working is not efficient. A server would walk back and forth with 1 thing at a time. Speaking of 1 thing at a time, our food did not come all at once. By the time we got out last order, it was wrong! We didn't get our miso soup that goes along with our meal so I had to ask our server. We had to hunt her down for curry since our Katsu Pork Curry did not come with curry at all. Our server was not very nice either, whenever we'd ask her for something she'd somewhat roll her eyes. Food does not take an hour to prepare!

I work in the restaurant business and I know how these places function. We weren't the only ones being served like this, supposedly the whole restaurant of customers were getting that same service. Where tables that were there before us didnt get their food until we got ours. It was that bad. Whats even better is that we did not receive an apology! What kind of customer service is that??? Never going there again and you shouldn't either!!!

Drinking...

Makes me feel better.



.......I take that back. In my case it makes me stupid and disgusting. GROSS.

Everything is MAGIC

Today has got to be one of my favorite days of all time!

First of all, I had only one class today. I always look forward to Tues/Thurs cause it's an easy class where all I do is go on YouTube all day. However, not even a class of YouTube will not compare to what lies ahead.

I headed over to the studio for the XSession with Angels and Airwaves with Nikki and Shane. Anyway, there were a lot of people there and a little chaotic at first, but we all came together and it turned out to be a great performance. I was pretty shocked when I saw Tom Delonge walk through the door. I pretty much just stood there in amazement because I've been a fan of Blink-182 and common, he's HOT!

After the XSession I had to head straight to SOMA for the show and help set up and banner the shit outta Sports Arena Blvd. Hung around and waited for the line to head inside. I was really excited because I haven't been to a show in almost 2 years! So I miss going to these. I know that it has been a long time because I went in with slip ons! Little did I know that there would be moshing there considering its Angels and Airwaves and other pretty mellow bands like Meg and Dia. I was real excited to see them perform.

I was surprised by all the gentlemen that were in the crowd, but there were also assholes that got me pretty heated. All in all, it was a great show. The lineup couldn't have been better. Meg and Dia rocked the house! The Color Fred (Ryan Gosling hah) is my new band to follow! Angels and Airwaves impressed me the most. I've heard negative comments about this band, but they sure blew me away. Their music may not be for everyone, but it was moving to me. I missed being all sweaty and tossed around and pushing people out of my way. I may be small but I can throw a mean punch! Just ask the guy cumbulsing in front of me and made him stop with my iron fist! HAHA SUCKAH!

To top it all off, I saw my drunk friends! Sorry I missed out guys...I promise there will be more drunken nights!

...I leave you with this...

If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank GOD
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine
--Angels and Airwaves

Black Hole

I swear, there's a black hole that sucks up all my stuff, and I'm bound to find it filled with cameras, money, hats, clothes, and more! Yes, my camera is forever lost once again. Another one down the drain :( However...I had an awesome time with the girls though! Too bad I don't have pictures to share!!

Good-Bye.

Blueberry Wheat

...is one awesome beer! Especially when you get hooked up with a jar of it. After Calahans we took the party to Kara's place and rocked the night away. It was fun eating, drinking, rocking out, laughing, moo moos, skinny spam, tuna caserole, and lots of pictures. Man, I wish I had a mac!

***Note viewer discretion is advised. Below may not be intended for younger viewers.

I guess love makes you do crazy things...

Satisfied

I'd like to say THANK YOU to all the girls for an awesome weekend at Vegas :) It was a vacation to remember. Now that we're back, we must face reality once again. It felt good to leave behind all the stress I've been going through at school. Thank you thank you thank you, I needed that!

Vegas

Oh another vacation at Vegas :) I've been so busy this week! My test results came in and I ended up not really passing the test I've been reviewing. A 65% to be exact! So sad, but I swear, the test was extremly difficult!!! They were full of "None of the above" to my favorite "All of the above" and last but not least...TRUE or FALSE? What the heck is this professor thinking?! This has been by far, the worste test I've taken in my entire educational career. The class average wasn't too high (70%) so I don't feel as bad, but still! I at least wanted to pass.

I hope Vegas makes me feel better. I don't know what to wear! Once I get there, I am going to take a shot and do some major shopping!! Who's with me?! hah I know 90% of you guys STILL don't know what to wear. All I gotta say is..GOOD LUCK!

Please

Hi, school has been creeping up on me! My first test is on Wednesday. I hate taking the first test in a new class because you don't know what to expect. Hopefully I do well! I also have another test the following week! and then another! Aaaah, when will it stop. I should really get my act together. I am also attending the career fair at school on Thursday and hopefully I find something good. I'm so nervous!

I also feel like I'm so engulfed with pleasing everyone around me that I don't do things for myself. It might be selfish of me, but it's true. I want grow more as a person and be more independent. There's a void that I have yet to fill and I can't seem to find out what that is. Perhaps I'm afraid of change and taking the initiative to do things my way. There are so many people that I don't want to let down. I care about so many people and their well being that I rarely stop to think of my own. I suppose it's something that words cannot express how I feel at the moment, but I hope that I find a cure for it.

I was thinking...how about sponsoring a child? With only twenty-two dollars a month I can make a difference in someone's life. With the little money I have, I think I can spare twenty bucks for them. I'll do my research and see where that takes me.

I shouldn't be complaining about anything because I have more than I deserve. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for all the people around me, because without the love and support I wouldn't have to the courage to do anything at all.

Love,
Len

I know that I may be the type to seclude myself from the rest of the world, I just shut my mouth and keep quiet and hopefully things will smooth out for itself. But sometimes, I just can't take it.

It's hard dealing with stress at home. I feel like I'm trapped in my own house and I certainly don't think I am out of control. My parents just need to learn how to let go and let me figure things out for myself. It starts to get frustrating when every time I tell them I'm going out, they give me shit for it. They make me feel bad that I didn't eat dinner with them or that I have an attitude problem. I need to take more responsibility they say. I know they want the best for me but they are literally tearing me apart by trying to keep me confined.

But that's the least of my problems. I don't know if it's me but I know I'm not close to the people I used to be. Honestly, it sucks. I never really know what's going on anymore. No matter how much I try, things are just not what they used to be. Maybe I am not putting in as much effort as I should be, maybe it's me shutting my mouth again and hoping that things will just pass. Or maybe we all just need our space. But, I am a true believer of things happening for a reason. It'll be a slow process but I'm sure everything will take it's place sooner or later.

On the bright side. I am liking my internship so far. I finally feel like I'm moving forward with my career. I'm learning so much everyday and meeting so many people. I love it! This is a start of a new beginning... Yesah!

First Day of School

One word: SUCKS!

All my classes seem super hard! No more being the shy one in the back. I'm not the type to express my feelings to a room full of strangers and I don't plan on starting, eh I guess I have to. I hate hearing the sound of my own voice! Anyway, I really hope this semester goes by fast because once I'm done--then on to my minor! which is totally EASY.

Working at Chili's, school, and the internship, I don't know where I'll find my free time! BUT! PB Bar and Grill tomorrow night, I'll be there for an event from 9-11pm so I hope to see some of you there! Anyway, just wanted to say a few words on here since I haven't the past couple of weeks. Good luck to everyone on a new semester! Take care :)

Len

2008

My first entry for the new year!

What a year. There were definatley some ups and downs, but that's what makes us who we are today isn't it? There were fun drunken nights, sea world, parties, birthdays, laughs, and tears, but I wouldn't change a thing. I've learned this past year is that no matter what happens, family and friends will always be there for you. Even when the world turns its back on you, I know that I am not alone.

I am excited for this year. A year to start over and learn from my mistakes of the past. My New Year's Resolution is to learn how to prioritize, eat healthier, and be more outspoken. I hope that by years end, I'll quit Chili's and find a real job. Maybe even move out? I guess we'll just have to wait and see...